Fuck Prom

As prom ebbs increasingly closer, the prom stress dreams ensue. And because of our school systems exceptionally late spring break, whose end signals the beginning of Prom Asking, those of us lacking significant others are on edge. Prom is now less than a month away, 25 days, 600 hours, 2,160,000 seconds away. Now prom is very different things to different people. I for one, am the prom stress ball, and the stress dreams will probably not cease until after the day. Being dateless 2 million seconds before prom is also another source of my prom-xiety. I have had dreams the dress I accidentally ordered from China came as was made of pillows, dreams that I was asked by someone with a girlfriend then ditched, and dreams that my date turns out to be a homeless man. They come once every week, usually after some aspect of prom in discussed in the prom group message with my com-padres. My latest dream involved a mystery date forgetting his cuff-links, and me deciding I couldn't go at all because of his oversight. Here's to hoping that none of my dreams come true.



*UPDATED
Post prom. Not on prom stress dream since thank you God. I was lucky enough to have everything go my way, and for everything to work out as planned, which is a rare feat. My dress fit well, my date remembered his cuff-links, and it put last years prom to shame. It takes a few times to get it right. I learned from my Junior self to roll with the punches rather than allow them to ruin your night. I learned that you can worry about texting your mom back in the morning, because right now, its about you.  I learned ti be selfish. The only way to have a surefire good time is to think about what you need, and not to worry about whats going on with others. I know that this sounds superficial and shallow- its just prom for God's sake chill. But prom for me is important. I've literally had dreams about it since I was in 8th grade. It's fun, you get to dance. You get to feel the adrenaline of being asked, or asking someone. You get to experience the stress of having the same dress as someone else. You get to feel like pain in your feet from dancing. You get to revel in the beautiful pictures of you and your friends. You get to see the look on your moms face when you put your dress on. Its a prolonged emotion, drawn out from January to the week after prom. For me, prom is my dreams come to life. I don't look my usual sack of potatoes, everyone looks at you with such pride, and all of your friends are together. You will never have an experience like prom ever again in your life. The feelings and stress and joy are so unique, it's the summation of everything high school. I know this is so serious, and most of you just see prom an a artificial show of beauty. Both those of you who see it as a skin-deep affair haven't given it a chance. Prom can give you a glimpse of the things in your life to come; joy, tension, jealousy, sympathy, confidence, and so much more. Even though my love for prom will live on, I wouldn't want to do it again. It should be left to its on device, not to be tainted by overexertion. I can only hope that people can find as much purpose in prom as I did, and that others can appreciate that they are given a night to dance unabashedly with your friends. If you haven't been to prom yet, don't let this give you the idea that it will be perfect. Chances are it won't be. Put on thinking about it months and years after, you will be glad your dress ripped, and laugh at how late your dates were to pictures. Embrace the suck, and long live prom.

Past, Present, and PCP

I was really bored on a school night, so I decided to do PCP. I crushed something up, and used it as a tooth paste. I didn't feel anything until I was in the basement, and all of a sudden was a Jamaican man dreads and could barely walk. I decided to take a shower but I couldn't. Then it was like 1860, and I was a little kid. We were on this dock, and then all these slaves kept coming up from under the water. We talked to them, and told them that we didn't want them to be slaves. They thought it was nice.

Ah yes, the old "I-did-PCP-because- I-was-bored-then-changed-races" dream. We've all had that one. There is so much going on here. Right off the bat, it's clear that this dream was accessed during a particularly active part of REM cycle. I am unsure about what your subconscious is telling you with this one. It may be a warning dream, telling you the dangers of experimenting with hard drugs. Its purpose may have been to remind you of your compassion, you were so kind to tell those slaves you didn't think they should be slaves. The thing that confounds my dream analysis the most is the change of race. I'm assuming you were not previously a Jamaican man with dreads, or else it would not have been an important detail of your recollection. My expert opinion that this may have just been a cleaning dreams. Now. cleaning dreams aren't actually scientifically proven, but I believe that every person experiences these dreams. Keep in mind this is a primitive personal theory. Usually vivid, and most of the time outlandish, cleaning dreams flush out you psyche. We hold a plethora of memory, conscious, and subconscious thought. Now, our brains are only about as big as your fist(add half a fist if you have a 4.0 GPA), and although there are millions of neuron synapses and dendrite connections, the human brain cannot hold all your years of life at one time. Things can become very cluttered, and your brain becomes foggy. From time to time, your subconscious aids in sorting memory and thought for your conscious mind. During this cleaning process, thoughts are shifted around, and when you sleep, they seep into your dreams. Cleaning dreams may also be a way of your subconscious reminding you of something. When it comes across a memory or thought that may be dusty, it flits it into your conscious dream state to help you brush off the cobwebs. In your case, perhaps your subconscious thought you should brush up on your American history, and because I know you are in Biology, maybe you should study topic 8.1 again. In any case, this dream is vivid, questionable, and hilarious. And from my important scientific calculations (because I am very qualified to do those, being the doctor that I am), this dream seems meaningless. Apart from a hint at your empathy, there is nothing else of sustenance that you should gain or learn from this dream. Although, in the future, I do hope you are not bored on a school night, and decide to ingest pharmaceuticals. In the mean time, Happy Dreaming!

Recurring Dreams

I used to have a few recurring dreams. There was the run of the mill "naked in public" dreams, I remember a few about my teeth falling out, and I had the same dream twice about a skeleton in my garage. Although, there was one recurring dream that always stood out to me. It always recurred on Christmas Eve., every year from before I can remember, until I was around 13. It was as if once this dream happened, it was Christmas. The first year without it was probably one of my worst, partly because puberty and being generally disgusted with anything family related, but I know believe it was because I lost "The Dream". The Dream always began the same. The house across from mine, which is rather tall and rectangular, is completely black on the inside. The furniture, walls, floors, everything, painted pitch black. There was always my dad, and my neighbors dad. Mind you these neighbors are rich, and slightly ostentatious and our families rarely interacted, so his presence is still confounding. Anyway, my dad and the neighbor dad are dressed in full swat gear. They are equipped with grenades, machine guns, and protective swat armor. The house had been booby trapped, and my dad and the neighbor were trying to protect it from the perpetrator who trapped the house. Who had booby trapped my neighbors house and painted it black? Being Christmas an all, it was the Grinch. After the dream began, I  would see my dad and the neighbor pointing their guns up the staircase at the Grinch, who just looked menacingly down at them and put his hands together. I knew the house was booby trapped, because there was a mess of green goop - much like the stuff you see on the Kids Choice Awards, I believe it's called "slime". For some reason, if one were to step in the green goop, either you would fall in it like it was a cavernous hole, or you would get stuck. I have yet to find out because after the surveillance of the house, the dads, the Grinch and the goo, I woke up. Every Christmas, for approximately 6 years I would wake up after seeing the green putty. I never used to care about the dream, didn't pay any attention, as it was usually forget in lieu of presents and ham. Looking back, I wish I had written it down.

     Recurring dreams are supposed to represent an unresolved problem or conflict in someone's life. What unresolved problems I had with the Grinch I do not know. Common recurring dreams include themes like losing control of a car, being late, failing at something important, even the "naked" dream. There is something your subconscious is trying to tell you that you are just not getting. I'm going to be honest, I'm using Wikipedia for these next facts, so be wary (but honestly Wikipedia is a totally valid source and anyone who says otherwise isn't a student). There are several theories that explain the prevalence of recurring dreams. Close to 75% of adults have had or currently have recurring dreams(psychologytoday.com). The first theory, Wikipedia states, is called Threat Simulation Theory. It explains recurring dreams as threat preparation, and that these dreams will help us deal with threatening situations in the future (I very much hope I do not run into a booby trapped house). Sigmund Freud, the original Dream Bitch, thought recurring dreams to be the result of neurotic behavior, and spurred from "the expression of neurotic repetitive compulsions".

There are several other explanations for the strange repetition of psyche, most of which involve the brain pattern or your erratic sleeping patterns.The one that stood out to me the most, probably because it explains my dream, was the Culturalist Dream Theory (I crossed checked Wikipedia, this is real. The Culturalist Dream Theory, CDT, explains that dreams repeat because a lack of change in one's life. That would explain the sudden halt in the repetition of the Dream, as around the time it stopped, I was entering my teenage years. Although the change may not have been particularly positive from an outside perspective, it was change.

    Coping with stress inducing recurring dreams has its challenges. A teacher of mine once told of us of a recurring dream they had, in which he worked in a barn making hatchets. He said he was then attacked by faceless people with hatchets, and then proceeded to wake up. The dream continued for a few weeks, haunting him biweekly. It wasn't until he determined the meaning of the dream that it stopped. He concluded that the dream was trying to tell him that "every problem you have you create yourself". He had created the hatchets that in turn were used to attack him .

   In order to rid yourself of a particularly unbecoming recurring dream, it is crucial to decipher what your subconscious is trying to convey to your conscious. Usually, a dream will repeat itself if there is a constant source of stress in one's life; for example, feeling exposed for vulnerable at work or school can lead to the repetition of naked-in-public dreams. If you want that dream about your sister pushing you off a cliff to go away, try finding closure about the fight you had last month. Dream interpretation and comprehension is an infallible way to both rid yourself of an uncomfortable night's sleep, and solve personal problems in the waking world. Happy Dreaming!

x Dream Bitch

Gorilla Warfare

So when I was super young I had this recurring dream where I was sitting in my front yard in the fall in a pile of leaves and this gorilla just walks up super nonchalantly and starts tickling me. That's it.

I can see why you would submit this dreams; recurring dreams are odd enough as it is, but ones with anthropomorphic gorillas? Very rare, congrats on such an active subconscious.  Let's break this down. There are 4 key phrases in your summary - "Yard", "Leaves", "Gorilla", and "Tickle". The fact that it is recurring is a whole other post (Recurring Dreams post to come). Each of these different aspects of your dream can tell you something different. From the Dreamer's Dictionary for the 21st Century, it says that dreams involving yards signify measuring personal growth. Granted, you were very young when this dream took place, so maybe your yard only meant that your new tooth was starting to grow in. Similarly, leaves supposedly represent "your dance with the winds of change". As a small child, I highly doubt you were measuring your self growth, or dancing with anything other than your stuffed animals. These themes were most likely due to the fact that, as a child, you are in your front yard quite often, and the setting just happened to take place in a commonplace in your mind. No epiphany worthy interpretation there. Unless you were a child undergoing an early-onset midlife crisis.

      What is probably most interesting theme in this dream, is a gorilla that tickles you. First of all, there are no Gorillas in Minnesota, and I'm pretty sure they don't engage in tickle fights with random children outside there houses. Animal Control would see to that. Dreams about apes are said to signify you, connecting with your wild side, and expression of power. The fact that it was tickling you, might symbolize a loss of control in your power. Being tickled is borderline torture, so sorry to hear that this dream was recurring. Again, because of your age, I don't believe the dream to be this deep.

      This Gorilla tickling you in your front yard surrounded by leaves, might be more related to a family member. Being so young, maybe you felt out of control. A sibling or parent may have been striking a particularly sensitive nerve on the days this dream occurred.  But dreams can also be said to be meaningless. Although we wish our dreams about climbing Mount Everest which is actually made of ice cream is about our perseverance through life, it may be just because you read an article about rock climbing while eating something sweet. Some find great solace in the interpretation of their dreams, others "don't believe in that bullshit". Which ever way you subconscious swings, we can all agree that dreams can be sweet, and scary. They can make us wish we never woke up, and they can make us never go back to sleep. Although dreams can be deemed "an escape from reality", they are really just odd smashings of pieces of conscious, all mashed together to create silent sound and images of being tickled by Gorillas. Happy dreaming!

x Dream Bitch

Bien Venidos! Shalom! Velcommen

Welcome to Dream Bitch. I am a self proclaimed dream fanatic, and would love to hear about your dreams. I intetend to update this page with much dream related paraphernalia, including dream analysis, dream discussion, and dream culture. Feel free to email a particularly confounding dream to db.b1tch@gmail.com or fill out the anonymous google form  https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1P9drg7yfEyVD_L5-m9R5FKz6VQmPwQDgC33PQMeZ5bo/viewform